You know, for a while there, I forgot that this blog existed. How bad is that?

I guess it kind of foreshadows what I’m going to say about the weight loss at the moment: not going so well. Mostly because I went home and blew out. I am back on track now — had vegetables, milk, good oils and am now going for the water. No exercise tonight because my head has been sore for the past few days and I mostly just want to sleep.

I will weigh in this week to face the music, and then I’ll try to get back on track, so that I’m ready for Edinburgh.

Posted at 3:40 am | No Comments »

This is a mind game. Everything to do with weight loss is, ultimately, in the mind. It took us a long time to get to the overweight point we’re at. It stands to reason that it will take a while to come off. And while it can get tiring, I have to ask myself, constantly, is this working towards my goal? Is it worth it? Sometimes it is; sometimes going over my total by a point to have a chocolate is exactly what I need to stay on track. (Isn’t it funny that I can stay on track by going off track?)

But what I’m finding hard now is not to be annoyed at people who say “I lost five kilos a couple of months ago but then I went off the rails and now I’m finding it really hard to get back into the program/focus/stay on track, and I just want to give up.” Granted, I’m generalising here, but it does frustrate me. I just want to say to them: we’ve all been there. We’ve all wanted to give up, we’ve all thought it’s too hard. But what’s the alternative? What’s the other option? The other option is to give up and accept being this heavy — or heavier — for the rest of your life. Because there’s no quick fix for me here. I don’t have a magic wand, or an amazing diet…I just have me, and my mind.

Which leads me onto the other thing that’s getting me down. There seems to be this intake (possible because of summer) of people who either a) have unrealistic expectations generally or b) watch too much ‘biggest loser’. I’ve never had a really large loss, partly because of my circumstances when I started. I’ve seen complaints about losing 1.5kg in a week — I would kill for 1.5 kg. But I can see that they’re losing faster than me, and sometimes I wonder if I’m doing something wrong or if they’re just doing something too right to sustain?

Which brings me to my final idle thought for this post: in putting together the blogroll (here), there were huge, huge numbers of blogs of people who just stopped posting. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to give up. I guess, for me, it’s about staying power. As long as those numbers go down — who cares how much they go down by, right?

100 Push Up Challenge
Level: Week Three, Day Two.
Push Ups Day 2: 51

Posted at 4:33 am | No Comments »