Today I got up and went to the gym, then I finished my meal plan and went shopping. Tonight I cooked my dinner (homemade pizza, yum), muffins for my lunches (2pts each!), and am about to cook pie for my lunch for the next few days (yay!).

I weighed in today, since I’ve decided Sundays will be my weigh in from now on. I’m at 86.8kg currently, but since it is that time, I’m okay with that number. This also means that this week is the first week I’ve gotten my act together in terms of my progress table: I’ve got something to put in each entry, for the second time ever. My points are still way too high, but that’s as a result of not planning this week (and also a rather large night out.) I should be on about 154 points per week — as you can tell, 177 is far too high. But I’m not worried about the week coming — I’ve planned within an inch of my life, included treats, tried to ensure I’m getting 5 vegies and 2 - 3 fruit per day, and just generally ensured that I’m enjoying everything I’m eating. It wasn’t easy and it takes forever to plan…who knew food could be so difficult?

The gym today was tough but rewarding. I did the C25K week 3 day 2, which is definately getting easier. It’s much simpler to pace myself with a treadmill — I just type in a speed that has me running but not too fast. And because there’s a timer on it, I can ignore any stiches and just keep going. I’m going to do the next installation on Tuesday/Wednesday, and then the next time will be week 4, which is kind of wonderfully exciting. It’s amazing how much motivation can be gained from just knowing that you’re progressing, from feeling your body change and grow stronger…this is part of the reason why I enjoy my new program so much. Each exercise has two parts to it — legs and arms or legs and abs or butt and arms, etc. etc. It feels like I’m doing something worthwhile. It’s hard, no doubt, and at the moment I can’t even do the full program — but I’m working up to it.

I’ve also made a decision about Sundays. I think that (major events aside) I’m going to reserve Sundays to concentrate on me. That sounds incredibly selfish — a whole day just to contemplate my navel? But there are little things I don’t do during the week the I should, both phsyically and mentally. Go to the gym is one, pluck my eyebrows or do my nails is another. But then so is write in my journal and organise myself for the week ahead. The latter things are important to me but I don’t do them because I never have the time. Isn’t that always the excuse? If only I had the time. Well, there’s a saying I quite adore: Excuses are lies you tell yourself. So instead of giving myself excuses, I’m giving myself problem-solving exercises. I don’t have time to go to the gym becomes How will I find time to go to the gym?

Which links back to my new weight-loss motto, one which I’m finding easier to follow because if I follow it I’m naturally doing what I should be: Don’t think about it, just do it.

Or maybe corporate America’s infiltrated my brain or something…

(My points for the last few days are under the cut. They aren’t that interesting, but feel free to check them out if you want).

(more…)

Posted at 9:04 pm | No Comments »

Forgot to say that I weighed myself at the gym scales (on both the digital and non-digital [analogue?] scales), and my highest weight was 86.4, which will now be my base weight, since these will be the scales I use most often.

Which means I’ve lost weight, woot!

Current Stats
Current Weight: 86.4
Loss/Gain This Week: -.6
Total Loss: 13.9

EDIT: Behold my new table of tracking:

Posted at 4:45 pm | No Comments »

Just got back from the fancy gym. Had a personal-trainer introduction thing. In the past I’ve always been too scared to talk to them about what I want. I was always so intimidated, thinking, “They’re the professionals, they know what to do, they can just tell me.” This time, I knew what I wanted. I’ve already got a cardio program in place, I just wanted help with exercise to use weights — my weight, other weight, anything. I was honest with myself and the trainer about how often I’m likely to go, about what I want to be able to do — and about my fitness levels and the fact that I get bored very easily.

So we did up a program together. It involves fitballs, weight machines (not free weights yet…they still scare me, haha), medicine balls, and those crazy vibroplates. The vibroplate is pretty intense. It’s not cardio by anymeans (unless, like I now have to do, you do step routines on it), but when it comes to your muscles…You know when you first did (or still do) push ups, and you can feel your muscles shaking underneath the weight of your body? It’s like that. From the get go. Each ’set’ is 60 seconds but doing push ups on it it hard. I can do 50 push ups in a row! But I still find 60 seconds hard.

This program will be in addition to the swimming and classes I want to do. It’ll be great because it means I can just change it up all the time, can make sure I’m not bored by it and am able to do the things I want. I’m planning to go tomorrow before class, maybe do the circuit again. I was going to go swimming, but then went to the bathroom and remembered why I gave up swimming the first place — I’ll start swimming again next week, I think.

Also think I will try posting my food each day. I know it’ll make this blog just a little more boring (sorry) but also think I need to start being accountable all the time. I’ll make sure it’s at the bottom of the post, maybe even in small font. But yeah, it is important.

Posted at 4:14 pm | No Comments »

So, didn’t go to the gym (this is getting to be a habit, one which I don’t like.) Sister was unfortuately not in a fit state to go, so even though I’d organised guest passes etc., we ended up not doing much. We did walk everywhere on Saturday, but since we had pizza and bruschetta on Friday night, as well as some other appalling choice, I think the two are cancelled out.

Do you ever have those experiences where you just go, “I used to be that person”? I was talking about how we’d eaten terribly this weekend and I’d need to do some exercise, but my sister pipes up and says, “I think I was actually quite good.” And I realised that once upon a time, I was like that too, in my pre-tracking days. How easy it is to forget the bacon and egg muffin and hash brown, and the cheesecake, muffin, far too many hot chocolates when one doesn’t need to justify to oneself why you did it. I’m not judging her, and I wasn’t going to argue with her - what’s the point? - but I did have a little smile to myself. I did eat poorly, and so did she, but sometimes you just have to get over it.

So I am attempting (again) to get back on track. Doesn’t it just sometimes feel like this is a cycle I go through once every two or so weeks? It really annoys me. I just want to get it together and be good at this. But I’m not, so I just keep working.

Posted at 4:02 pm | 1 Comment »

Where to start? Have been a raging hormonal rhymes-with-itch for the past week or so, though for no reason I can tell. I know it’s hormonal because it’s exactly the same sort of impotent rage I get when I have PMS, but I don’t have PMS. The crazy thing is that I’m also getting cramps, but I am on the pill and right in the middle of my cycle. Why any of this is happening is beyond me, because it’s new. Regardless, it involves me being annoyed at most people and things, from the littlest issues (my roommates not changing the toilet roll when they finish it), to things that are actually issue but which I would normally handle calming (group dynamic situations when everything is going to pot and half our group isn’t talking to the other half.) Instead of being the peacemaker, I’m kind of viciously not caring (yes, it is possible. I do my work but enjoy the situation.)

What other news? I have joined a fancy gym here, which costs an absolute mint. But I’m really quite excited about it. They have all sorts of classes for me to try, as well as a swimming pool, treadmills and vibro plates. I don’t know where to start. I want to join these classes: Body Balance, PUNCH!, Body Combat, Body Pump. I also want to go back to swimming. And I want to finish the C25K, and the 100 Push Ups Challenge. I also want to start doing some weights, and maybe try out those incredibly interesting-looking VibroPlates. Where to begin?!

Actually, I’ll begin tomorrow and since I’m going with my sister, I’ll start with the C25K routine. And then I guess I’ll just see where it leads me from there.

Posted at 9:45 pm | No Comments »

Posted at 9:31 pm | No Comments »

So I weighed in today and am at 87.0kilograms. Which is a gain of .2kg, so I suppose it’s a cup of tea/my breakfast. It’s not that bad. And, to be fair, I haven’t tracked or done any exercise for about 3 weeks. I knew it was probable, I was just also hopeful that I’d somehow evade reality and I’d be wonderfully

That bummer aside I’m still on the right track. I’m having spaghetti on toast for dinner tonight as I’m going to the movies at 8. I’ll have a good 5 points or so saved up so if I want to buy a coke or something, I can.

I’ve also just discovered that there’s a gym near me! They’ve got all my favourite classes (BodyBalance, BodyPump) and some new ones that I want to try, like Punch! so I’m going to pop in in the next few days and see what the cost and memberships are like. They’ve also got that new crazy, the vibro plate or whatever it is — I want to see what that feels like. And they’ve got a pool. And! they’re on my bus route home, so I can just sit on the bus until I get to the gym, pop in for an hour or so, and then walk 10 minutes home. Easy.

So as long as the cost stays down, I think I’ll do that.

Posted at 3:41 pm | No Comments »

I am in the zone. Yep, right there. I’m making the right choices and, more than that, it’s easy to make the right choices. I sat down last Saturday, after recovering from the hellish ’submissions week’ in order to do a meal plan. It’s no mean feat — I have to work out meals so that there’s no leftovers, I come in under points, I get all my fruit and vegies, etc. etc. etc. Then as I go I order online so that I make sure I have everything (and x chocolate doesn’t slip into my basket).

And today is the 3rd day in a row that I’ve stuck to my meal plan! There’s been a few replacements (sausages instead of steak, as it wasn’t thawed), and some last-minute substitutes (low-fat youghurt instead of my daily chocolate), but overall it’s basically exactly what I planned. And each day I actually look foward to what I’m going to eat. I make sure lunch is always something that I actually like, since that’s when I’m most likely to get off track.

I’m focusing on food at the moment because I think it’s incredibly important that I get it under my belt. It’s the first in a long line of baby-steps. I’d like to go for a run tomorrow but if I don’t, then I’m okay with that as long as my food remains as it should. I can always add in exercise once it becomes more natural.

But yes, I am zoning. I can’t believe how easy it is.

I think this has been sparked off by the fact that I am officially a dress size smaller Australian standard. In January I went shopping for new jeans and I bought 2 pairs in a size 18, and one pair that was just a bit too small but on sale and comfy so I thought “…Why not?”. I brought them all with me, the idea being that if I managed to lose enough weight, I could just swap over. Well I did and I have. My non-stretch 18 jeans have been falling down for weeks, but I’ve been using a belt to keep them up. I tried on the size 16 jeans about a month ago but they still weren’t quite right. And then while I was cleaning up my room, I tried them on and hey presto! perfect fit.

After all the difficulty last year, I just can’t believe how much easier it is. And it comes down to having the power to make your own decisions — something I completely lacked last year.

The other amazing thing about this is that the average woman is now a size 14 -16. I am now average. When I walk into a room, I may not necessarily be the largest person there! I may just fit into a crowd!

I’m so excited. Since I’ve been here I’ve lost the use of 1 (almost 2) pairs of jeans and a skirt. Next stop, size 14, and then onward and downward (as they say!).

Posted at 11:20 pm | No Comments »

I’m so frustrated at the moment. I just want to be there, be at that place where I’ve lost the weight and it comes as second nature to make good choices. I want to go out and exercise and actually do it.

Most of this is just frustration that I’ve done nothing towards losing weight in about three weeks. I’ve been tracking (off and on), but there’s been no exercise and I just want it to happen. Of course, there are reasons for this, including the flu of death and the resulting cough that managed to make it an effort to walk up stairs. Then I visited my sister for the weekend so she could feed me soup and take care of me, and then I hit my mid-semester assessments.

Which brings me to here. I have 2 essays due on Friday that I haven’t started (other than getting books out from the library) because I was doing my other 3 assessments due this week. I have a mammoth list of things to do once I’ve finished these assessments, including everything from buying some bloody food to cleaning the bathroom to finally doing some exercise. But given the chances that I won’t sleep for the next two nights, everything is being put off. And I mean everything.

I’ve got food sitting in my cupboard that I need to use but have no idea what to do with because I don’t have time to faff around with recipes and everytime I think “I’ll just make soup” I remember that I have no blender. Then when I think “Why not quiche, then?” I remember that my oven doesn’t work. And if I had the time, I would sit down and go “I can use my capsicum here and then my potatoes here and my carrots here, but the menu planning takes me a while because I’m still new to this cooking thing, and so instead I’m just complaining on here and hoping like hell I’ve managed to make some reasonably good choices.

And you know what? This is my list of things to do after Friday, because I need to make this list:

• Wash clothes
• Clean bathroom
• Clean out fridge and pantry
• Make Menu Plan
• Do Grocery shopping
• Pluck eyebrows
• Go to Paperchase and buy stationary I don’t really need but want anyway
• Write a birthday card that’s already 10 days late.
• Buy stamps
• Go for a run
• Do the 100 push up challenge
• Weigh myself
• Buy a blender
• Hassle the landlord about the oven
• Buy 2 martini glasses
• Buy 1 highball glass
• Tidy house
• Do my exercise video
• Work out mini goals
• Get my hair cut!
• Do paperwork
• Call the electricty company
• Upload photos onto facebook
• Go to a Scottish pub!
• Get my DVD back from friends
• Track
• Drink green tea
• Drink enough water
• Do my finances!
• Clean my bloody room.
• Take the trash out
• Stop chewing my nails

Okay, so that last one is a little silly (although I chew my nails when I’m stressed, oops), but I know there’s more on that list, I just can’t remember it.

I just…I feel like there’s SO MUCH in my head right now that I can’t handle the weightloss stuff — and it annoys me because that’s the stuff that I care about most. I’m so frustrated and there’s so many things buzzing around inside me that I just need to ignore until Friday night.

Posted at 12:59 pm | No Comments »