This time to head back to Uni, since the packing and unpacking never really stops. The difference this time is that I’ve suddenly discovered all sorts of ‘new’ clothes, since the 8 -9 shirts I had in Edinburgh has suddenly been expanded to about 20+. So now I’m sorting through, trying to find out what works, what doesn’t, what’s too big, what I just don’t love anymore…

It’s actually quite a revelation. A lot of the clothes that looked quite nice on me 6 months and 10kgs ago now look much better. I look much slimmer in them, just because I’ve toned up a bit.

My confidence has improved, too. There are clothes with low-cut backs which I used to wear another shirt under, to hide the rolls. Now the rolls are basically gone (on my back, anyway. Won’t say anything about my tummy or sides) and I am seriously considering just wearing the shirt. Part of me wonders if I’d let myself go outside wearing these things…part of me just wants to shout “Yeah! Do it! You’re gorgeous and damn what anyone else says!”

Posted at 9:50 am | No Comments »

I. Am. Awesome.

No really, I’m fantastic. I went for a run today and managed to do 3.12kms in 26minutes — which is an entire minute faster than my last run two days ago. This is after months of my times backsliding, my lungs getting worse, the runs getting harder, my freaking out that I was going to end up on a puffer or with pnuemonia or something. My fastest time so far has been 25:00 for 3.2km — since may I’ve been doing 11:00min/km. Now finally I feel like I’m making some progress and getting somewhere.

And it feels awesome!

Posted at 1:34 am | No Comments »

For lunch today, I ate an entire pizza. 24 points. More than my entire daily allowance — in one sitting. This ignores the fact that yesterday, not only did I have McDonald’s Bacon and Egg Muffins as my 3rd breakfast, but I also had large chips, large coke and 6 nuggets for lunch. What have I been doing?

Actually, I have to be honest, I know the answer to that: making up for lost time. In England, I didn’t miss the wholesome, homecooked food because I could still cook it there. I could replace ingredients and I would make the things I enjoyed regardless of where I was. I didn’t eat McDonalds or most fast foods, actually, because they tasted like crap, and I used to get random cravings for KFC chips — cravings I couldn’t act upon.

Now I can. Now I’m in my Mum’s house, not mine. Now the kitchen doesn’t give the right ‘vibe’ for me to experiment in it with healthy food. Now I can hear the fast food calling my name and I will need to find my willpower again to ignore it. I need to set strategies into place.

So. first things first: menu plan.

Posted at 8:12 am | No Comments »

I never thought so. I can deal with sadness, with anger (since for me it tends to turn to sadness), with stress, with boredom, with happiness… at college and in Edinburgh I tended not to eat due to emotions, so I just kind of thought I wasn’t an emotional eater.

I was wrong.

I ate terribly yesterday. I finally understand emotional eating — I’ve realised that I never normally do it because I don’t normally live near my trigger! Normally, I’m well removed and it doesn’t matter. But he’s currently travelling around Europe while Mum is in Australia, so I’m significantly less removed.

It went like this: Brother got pick-pocketed in Spain, wants me to run around to sort out a money transfer for him (closest place is an hr and a half walk and I don’t have a car), transfer didn’t work, had to go back, don’t know HOW he’s getting back to where I am and there’s altogether too much stress. (Can you tell he’s younger?) I was so mad and sad and stressed at the same time, couldn’t believe it! I devoured everything I could, I was completely out of control. It was kind of horrendous.

But it’s okay, because now I’ve realised it and I can manage it.

Posted at 10:09 am | No Comments »

Oh, wow. How did the time go so quickly? The events following Glasgow went like this: London for my ‘photoshoot’ (will attach an album later, am having trouble with my software at the moment), Northallerton to stay with my sister’s parents-in-law, where I saw Romeo and Juliet in the park, then to my sister’s for my 21st birthday, where my Mum surprised me by flying over from Australia. Then to Paris for 2 days, Nice for about a week, Lyon for 2 days and then Paris again for 10 days. And now I’m back at my sister’s until I leave for Australia. Crazy, hey?

France was amazing, truly just wonderful. I stayed with a family in Paris and they were the most hospitable people I’ve ever met. We ate amazingly — yes, I tried snails. I also tried: Moussaka, Macaroons, Banana and Chocolate Tart, Lemon Tart, Salmon with Creme Fresh Sauce, Goat’s Cheese Lasagne, Pineapple Gelato….the list is almost endless. It was amazing, really. Really fantastic. I loved all the food, it was all lovely. I had difficulty with the snails, though not because of the taste but the psychology behind eating something out of its shell. I truly felt like I was murdering an innocent creature and then picking it out of its final resting place and eating it. I could only handle eating two.

My favourite part of the trip was this:

Mathilde’s mother turns to me and says, Kat, Est-ce que tu manges les aubergines? (Do you eat Eggplant?)
To which Mathilde replies: Elle aime tous les legumes. Tous. (She likes all vegetables. All of them.)

I could help but smile. A year, two years ago, I would not have eaten a single vegetable without some sort of bribery. Now I have no problem with all but two* vegetables, I like all sorts of food, I’m game to try things I never would have…and people describe me as eating anything. I can’t remember all the times that people looked at me as if I were just an annoying fusspot because I didn’t like so many foods, because what I liked was so limited. And now it’s the opposite!

But I’m back now. And Andee, from the WW boards — all the girls, really — were such an inspiration that I actually got off my arse and went for a run today. I’m not going to lie: it. hurt. Just over halfway through, I thought all the organs under my ribcage had imploded, the stitch was that bad. I had to stop running, and just when I would have started up again, my iPod broke, so I settled for wallowing in my self-pity until I got back to my house.

It was to be expected, really, since I haven’t been running properly in, what, 2 months? And my lungs still aren’t right, the wheeze is still there, which is horrible. I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. Still, according to my running log, I got through 345 calories today, which feels nice. It’s certainly not an exact estimate, but it’ll do.

So, I’m back on the right track. I’m feeling all right with myself, yeah. In fact, I’m going to go and grab a hot shower, then move a bed (you read that correctly, yes) from one room to another, and then sort out some washing. Isn’t it crazy how, even when you’re halfway around the world and sounding so interesting, life can be so boring?

(Also, 30 Days of Love is on hold. I’m going to delete the first entries until I’ve got the others worked out, and then I’ll repost them. I should have realised how difficult it would be to travel and update consistantly. Oops.)

* Cucumber and cherry tomatoes, for the curious ones. I cannot stand the former, and I’m not a huge fan of the latter unless they’re cooked.

Posted at 1:30 pm | No Comments »