Although it seems quite obvious, I am just now beginning to really understand what a mind game weight loss actually is. The ups and downs can be so hard or so easy to take, depending on your mood. I think this has come to me as a follow on from my last post, but…the knowledge that actually, I am the one in control, the one who has the power over it all, is just wonderful. All too often, other people run my life. My timetable belongs to others, I work for others, I write my assignments to be graded by others… but this ‘journey’ (so cliche, p.s.) belongs to me entirely. So I need to take ownership entirely. If I have a bad night, I need to take control and own it. I go over what I should eat — own in. I go under — own it. My body and my weight are some of the only things I can ever own completely. It’s mine.

Have signed up for (yet) another challenge. Am still involved in the Christmas Challenge, although my lack of weigh-ins did sort of short-stop it. This current challenge is ambitious, but with so many girls doing it, it’s also very exciting. It’s called 10 in 10, and obviously the aim is to lose 10 kilos in 10 weeks, which I would love to do. Have signed up with my current weight (Weigh In this morning) and will hopefully make the gym tonight!

In addition, I have started a personal challenge through this website: One Hundred Push Ups. Granted, I am up to Week 1, Day 1 (which was yesterday. Day 2 is tomorrow), and I am at the lowest level (that being 2 push ups and then a break), and not even doing full push ups — I’m doing the knee ones. But even today, I can feel that slight ache in my muscles which says that I’m doing something right. And it’s so convenient because I can take this challenge anywhere. I just clear a space on my floor and start. I’m really excited about it, because I’d love to be able to just drop and give a person 100 push ups whenever I want to. How cool would that be?

I particularly like that challenge because it’s so specific and it’s not weight-loss orientated. There’s only 1 thing that comes into it — do I do it or not? Weight loss has so many factors — what did I eat, what exercise did I do, what time in my cycle is it, how much water have I had, when did I eat last night… on and on. But this is direct. And I like the fact that I’m slowly learning to enjoy exercise, to appreciate something I used to loathe, and to understand how wonderful it feels just getting a kick out of something so real-life.

So, (ever expanding) stats:

Current Stats
Current Weight: 94.0
Loss/Gain This Week: -0.5
Total Loss: 6.3

Christmas Challenge
Weeks To Christmas: 17
Amount To Lose: 14.1

10 in 10 Challenge
Starting Weight: 94.0
Goal Weight: 84.0

100 Push Up Challenge
Level: Week One, Day One.
Push Ups Day 1: 13

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